Friday, April 30, 2010

Little Monsters

Things 1, 2 & 3; otherwise known as Emily, Leanna and Andrew have descended upon this Friday like 3 bats out of hell. As I write Andrew is staring at me from his jumper in the door way. He shifts between jumping happily, licking his seat and growling at me to be picked up. Emily and Leanna have been locked in their bedroom as a punishment. The crime: Emily wouldn't help Leanna onto the swing and Leanna hit her because of it. The punishment: You must play together, in your room with no television. Only a box of Barbies between them. If Leanna needs help, Emily must help her. Emily is not to get frustrated when she can't do it "just right", and Leanna is not to scream when Emily tries to show her how to do something.
Am I crazy for wanting my daughters to have a little less animosity toward each other? Emily groans anytime she has to include Leanna in a game, and Leanna screams anytime Emily steps too close to her space. I know they are capable of playing really well together, but maybe the close proximity of sharing a room is starting to wear on them. I know it's beginning to wear on me. It would be so nice to have an area where each could go and have private time. Emily really needs more privacy as she is getting older and more embaressed by her sister seeing her change. Also, she deserves to stay up a little later than the 3 year old. At the same time, Leanna is very territorial over her things. She will very intricately lay out a scene with her animals, each in their own bed or crate. She will feed each in turn and seperate those who don't play well together. When Emily comes in and disrupts the balance there are usually blows thrown. I'm very close to giving up my own space, moving Andrew in with me, and letting the girls each have a bedroom. Am I insane?

Meanwhile my darling little Andy-Pandy is going to be the death of me. He really is the sweetest little boy. I swear. That being said I will hurt him very soon unless he learns to sleep past 5:45am. 3 mornings in a row he starts crying before the sun comes up. I walk into his bedroom and peek over his crib and he gets this big doopey grin and grabs his toes. Like, "Hey Mom!" I need to make him understand how much more pleasant I am when I've had a full eight hours of sleep. Of course, I could go to bed at 7:45 when I get the kids to sleep. That would fix all my problems...

I'm trying to figure out how to upload some pictures to this so that you may all see Things 1, 2 and 3. Wish me luck!


Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Just Dance

I woke up this morning feeling a little down. I'm not really sure what in general made my morning tough, but I just felt like I had a cloud hanging over my head.
First things first I had to get breakfast for the kids and Emily off to school. What would mornings be without an argument over clothes. I honestly dread the teenage years with my over dramatic Emily. She is only 6 and already in full meltdown mode over my trying to ruin her life and make her the eternal dweeb when I choose an outfit that isn't "in". I contemplate going to the gym, but shrug that off and step into my flip-flops. Out the door right on time we join the masses moving through the parent drop-off lane.
Fast forward 30 minutes and we are finally walking up the stairs to our apartment. I feel so tired and run down and the clock reads 8:45am. Enough of this, I need to DO something. I put on some feel good tunes and crank up the volume and let the music move me. Leanna laughs a little, but Andrew is staring at me like I'm crazy. Oh well, go with it. Maybe I am a little crazy. I spin him around with me moving my hips to the beat and soon we are all having a blast. This is just what I needed; my children's laughter fills my home and all is good with the world.

A while later the house is quiet and I have time to think about my life and the choices I'm making. I feel so much pressure to make every decision just right. I want my kids to look back on their childhood and to remember it as a wonderful, perfect experience. Then I think, hey, cut yourself some slack. No one in the history of humans has had a picture perfect childhood. Trials and tribulations are part of life. Yes they are a sucky part of life, but a significant part just the same. A more realistic goal to set for myself is to aim for happiness. If they think back and remember happiness and love I will have done a good job.

Now it's the end of the day and I'm feeling so much different then I did this morning. There are still dishes in my sink and laundry to be folded. I still have too many bills and too little money. On the other hand I have 3 little angels that love me unconditionally; flaws and all. I have an amazing family and fabulous friends. What more could a girl ask for?

Turn your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. - Helen Keller


Welcome to My World

Alot has been changing around the Thomas household recently. After many hours of soul searching, and even more hours of second-guessing, tears and hair-pulling I have decided to continue on as a single parent. Hence the name of this blog: Survival of the Fittest. As of yet I think I am winning, but the tables could turn at any moment and the children could take over. If they ever realize how scared I truly am they will rise and conquer. Fingers crossed I can maintain my look of complete control. You know what they say; thinking positive is half the battle. But what do "they" know? I'm the one up to my eyeballs in diapers, potty-training and ballet rehearsals! Send help! Fast!

Back to the trenches,