Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Just Dance

I woke up this morning feeling a little down. I'm not really sure what in general made my morning tough, but I just felt like I had a cloud hanging over my head.
First things first I had to get breakfast for the kids and Emily off to school. What would mornings be without an argument over clothes. I honestly dread the teenage years with my over dramatic Emily. She is only 6 and already in full meltdown mode over my trying to ruin her life and make her the eternal dweeb when I choose an outfit that isn't "in". I contemplate going to the gym, but shrug that off and step into my flip-flops. Out the door right on time we join the masses moving through the parent drop-off lane.
Fast forward 30 minutes and we are finally walking up the stairs to our apartment. I feel so tired and run down and the clock reads 8:45am. Enough of this, I need to DO something. I put on some feel good tunes and crank up the volume and let the music move me. Leanna laughs a little, but Andrew is staring at me like I'm crazy. Oh well, go with it. Maybe I am a little crazy. I spin him around with me moving my hips to the beat and soon we are all having a blast. This is just what I needed; my children's laughter fills my home and all is good with the world.

A while later the house is quiet and I have time to think about my life and the choices I'm making. I feel so much pressure to make every decision just right. I want my kids to look back on their childhood and to remember it as a wonderful, perfect experience. Then I think, hey, cut yourself some slack. No one in the history of humans has had a picture perfect childhood. Trials and tribulations are part of life. Yes they are a sucky part of life, but a significant part just the same. A more realistic goal to set for myself is to aim for happiness. If they think back and remember happiness and love I will have done a good job.

Now it's the end of the day and I'm feeling so much different then I did this morning. There are still dishes in my sink and laundry to be folded. I still have too many bills and too little money. On the other hand I have 3 little angels that love me unconditionally; flaws and all. I have an amazing family and fabulous friends. What more could a girl ask for?

Turn your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. - Helen Keller


1 comment:

  1. Sorry, honey, but the worry and guilt doesn't every go away. Walking with a friend Monday AM I said aloud "I'm worried that Will isn't having a Happy Childhood" We came to the same conclusion that you did . . . no matter how we parent the kids always need therapy in the end. Stay strong.